When life pivots!

By Jan Gutowski, Creativity Coach
April 1, 2022

When life changes come about, depending on whether they are planned or not, the result is often a feeling of discomfort in leaving behind a groove we had been living in – or, more pointedly, feeling like you’ve been bitch-slapped by the Universe! This past week, I had two big life events that descended at the same time: One expected, and one very unexpected! The first, less traumatic event was the closure of my 30+ year career with the same company I had started working for at age 19. Granted, this is a huge company we are talking about, and I’ve experienced multiple career paths within that time. I had received an offer from an outside company that checked all the boxes that I wanted for this next stage of my career, so I made the leap. As I was about to enter in my last “swan song” week with this company, the phone rang…

My husband was on the line and started the conversation with “Before I tell you what I’m going to say, you need to know that he is stable…” – I appreciated that he started the conversation out in this way, but as a mom, you know that NOTHING is fine when you hear something like this. What he went on to tell me was that our son, who is only 20, suddenly lost consciousness while standing in line for a roller coaster and fell face-first into a concrete stairwell. After a transport to a nearby freestanding ER, it was determined that he had frontal skull fracture above the eye, and that it appeared there was a potential rare heart arrhythmia present.

After spending the week between two hospitals, dealing with an inept case worker, drudging through the challenges of doctor-to-doctor hospital transfers and undergoing a surgical procedure, only to find out that the condition they thought he had might not be exactly what was going on, we found ourselves on a roller coaster of our own – a rough and bumpy one! At the close of the week, the findings were inconclusive, and my son’s cardiologist decided that the best course of action would be to implant a heart monitor that would collect data and we would continue to follow up on what it might reveal. Luckily, the skull fracture was mild, and would not require reconstructive surgery. All-in-all, my son made it out of this incident in fair shape; even though the root cause of his passing out is still a mystery.

In the moment, there isn’t much to do other than hang on for dear life and try to survive the crazy… Now that we are all home (Thank GOD!), I am processing all which had taken place over the past week, and how much it has changed us. My son, who has always been athletic and one who lives life to the fullest, became aware of his own mortality through this experience; and is in a place of appreciating the little things. My daughter, who is 2 years older than her brother, rose to the challenge to take care of everything on the home front with our pets while her dad and I were at my son’s side in the hospital, which is a hefty drive from our house. My husband and I realized that we had taken the fact that we have healthy kids for granted up until this point. This was the first medical experience, aside from routine physicals, that our son had gone through in his life. I cannot emphasize enough how incredibly FORTUNATE we feel that he is okay, aside from the worry of waiting on monitor data to dig deeper into the cause of the initial issue. There are other parents out there whose kids are going through some ongoing and serious conditions, and I can only imagine what that must be like. Before this happened, I found myself frequently offering up prayers of gratitude for how lucky we have been in terms of overall family physical wellness. I guess it is human nature to get used to that good fortune and take it for granted from time to time; but after this recent life pivot, I feel that I have entered into a whole new level of gratitude.

When we process, we should also remember to use healthy expression to help it all along. I found myself doing as much in-the-moment meditation as I could to keep my own anxiety in check, and I also tried to keep those visuals of “normal” as present as possible. While in the hospital, my son would talk about the routine things at home that he was looking forward to experiencing again: walking into the front door, being greeted by the dog, going for a run, playing his video games… noting that he probably would cry the first time he experienced those things again. During these conversations with my son, I was reminded that we all have daily routines and things we take for granted. We assume those things will always be there, but the reality is, they won’t.

Today is a great day to do something for yourself: to be creative, to shake up the routine and see the world with fresh eyes! As for me, today I am completely grateful for this life and all those who are in it! Sending you all positive high-vibes for a wonderful day!

-jg